The Eye, The Grudge, and The Ring were awesome horror flicks made in (or inspired by versions made in) Asian countries. Since their success Tartan Asia Extreme has been bringing us loads of Asian Horror Movies which by and in large, suck.

Still waiting for next awesome one, and this ain't it.
 

This movie is anything but memorable, I'd give it a miss if I were you.
 

Given that this film was the winner in the Fan Favorite category at the 2005 Shriekfest, I have to wonder how impossibly bad the other contenders were. In fact that would make a far better tagline for this movie than “descend into terror”. The Cavern… “impossibly bad”.
 

Oh and a big high five to the makeup/costume “experts” on this movie who managed to make Franka Potente completely unattractive. Good job guys. I have to wonder what sort of conversations the costumers had as they decided on an outfit for Franka… “What about this dress? Doesn't make her butt look wide enough. Well then how about this one, it definitely makes her fanny look huge. Yeah but now she doesn't look bowlegged, she has to be bowlegged.”
 

This is not a heart-stopping thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat, but it's not complete ass either. Of course, I only watched it for Jodie Foster, and given how much I like her I was somewhat disappointed by this film because my expectations were higher. There's nothing wrong with her acting, it is flawless as always, just that the premise of the film is pretty unbelievable.
 

I would further go on to say that this movie has gone the unfortunate route of relying on special effects rather than an understandable plot. The conclusion of this film makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. What a disappointment. Instead of using this as an opportunity to improve on the original movie The Fog, the makers of this film instead made a worse movie. Which is really saying something since the original was pretty bad too.

What a disappointment.
 

One night while she hides out, a pink glowing meteorite crashes in the desert, and a small piece of it shears off, flies through the window of her hideout, and lands in her soup, which she somehow doesn't notice. She and her dogs end up eating the soup and in the morning they are all transformed. The dogs into effeminate transvestites, and she now has a 12 foot long tongue which hungers for human flesh, and makes the world's worst wisecracks.

Yes it talks.

Melinda Clarke plays the criminal host of the killer tongue spawned by the hot pink meteorite (which btw has the curious effect of arousing and then exploding most people who touch it). This movie is bizarre and although it has some mildly funny parts, most of the time when it tries to be funny it fails. Weird flick.
 

The Life Aquatic is not your typical knee slapper, but I thought it was a riot, mostly because of how outlandish the characters are. This film was a rare treat.
 

I just can't accept a film that tries to paint an assassin as the sort of person you would want to be friends with. It is an interesting character story though, and I suspect if you enjoy such sorts of films, you might like this one.
 

Some graduate students and scientists are studying a weird container of glowing green goo discovered in the basement of an abandoned church. Turns out that this container is basically a bucket-o-satan and once opened, look out humanity!
 

I fell asleep thrice watching this steaming pile, so I can't tell you how it ends. What I can tell you is I don't care how it ends and neither will you. Zero stars. Skip it.
 

But the appearance of a naked boy drenched in blood heralds the beginning of a new nightmare, and it reaches far beyond the confines of Shallow Valley.

What I liked about this horror flick was that it was actually quite original. I didn't completely understand the ending, but I didn't mind so much, I was taken with the underlying idea of the film. So nice to see something a little bit new.
 

Now you should not assume this is some sort of knock-off of The Ring, because in that film it was a videotape that killed everybody who watched it in 7 days. See? Website, 15 days–VHS casette, 7 days… completely different concept.

Why do I get the feeling you're not convinced? Would it help if I said the antagonist is the spirit of a life cut short too soon?

OKAY I ADMIT IT, IT'S A SHITTY KNOCK-OFF OF THE RING.

If Tom Servo were here, he would doubtlessly note “This is just like The Ring, except it's not good at all.”
 

I enjoyed this strange but compelling film immensely, particularly V's wonderful dialog. Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from The Matrix) was terrific as V, and Natalie Portman was likewise fantastic in her portrayal as Evie, the woman hopelessly caught up in his grand plan. Bravo!
 

Okay this is another one of those viewed-because-Chuck-likes-the-actress films, and surprisingly, the film turned out to be halfway decent.

This is what you call one of them psychological thrillers. Georgia Perry is sailing solo around the world, and after six months finds herself stuck in the Indian Ocean with no wind for days on end. She is not permitted to row or use an engine without forfeiting the attempt, and so she remains, with only a (talking) cat and her slippery grip on reality for company.

She soon discovers she is not alone on her tiny boat, and that the boat and its problems are directly linked to her own internal demons. It's not a great film, but I enjoyed it, and not just because of Radha Mitchell and her bikini. I wouldn't recommend it for purchase, but as a rental, sure, why not? It beats Killer Tongue!  Come on… it's got… pirates… old ladies that turn into spiders… Radha Mitchell in a bikini…
 

In the original film, the sequence with the babysitter only lasts for the initial 20 minutes. Then the killer is captured and comes back years later to terrorize her in adulthood.  In this version, the sequence of the killer terrorizing the babysitter comprises the entire film.

In many ways the makers of this film tried hard to make it true to the concept of the original, focusing more on terror and suspense, than on gore. In an opening segment when a policeman investigates the scene of a murder carried out by this killer, the audience does not see the remains of the victim, only the officer's reaction.

But much of the movie, perhaps because it is trying to play on a plotline that worked in 1979 but doesn't now, misses the mark as far as scariness. I recall one point early in the film, the babysitter, Jill Johnson (played by Camilla Belle), is sitting in the living room of the Mandrakis' gorgeous country mansion with her homework on her lap glancing about… the sun is streaming in through the many windows offering a view of the lake beyond, and ominous music is playing for no apparent reason. Keep in mind absolutely nothing scary has happened to her yet, and the house isn't in the least bit creepy. I just couldn't get into this picture. Felt too much like 70's fare. One and a half stars.
 

This goofy film, decidedly weird and VERY 1970's, is nonetheless a classic, and I enjoyed watching it again so many years after the first time I saw it which would have been sometime in the 1980's. It stars Christopher Lee as “Lord Summerisle” the community leader of the island, and he is wonderful as always. If you're a fan of Christopher Lee, this film definitely deserves your attention. If you're not a Lee fan, and you generally dislike 70's era eroticism and horror, definitely give this movie a pass.
 

Evil Damodar has risen from the dead and has a powerful black orb thing with which he intends to do very bad things to the Empire of Izmer. In response Izmer sends a band of its finest adventurers to defeat Damodar.

Who will win?

Who will care?